oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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