Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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