I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
and you fell through a lawn chair
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
