**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
