May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
