Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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