wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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