He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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