This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
