She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
