Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
