the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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