no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize