No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
