im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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