So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How does it feel to date your dad?
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