we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
