Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
