Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
