just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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