Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
