dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
