Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
