I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i came on her dog
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
