whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
