They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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