i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize