I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
