i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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