then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
