I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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