is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
