I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
