You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
