It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
