I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
