I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
