Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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