Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
