I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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