nut hugger
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ttyl tear gas
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
