I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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