am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I love having hate sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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