So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
