spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
