Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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