Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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