they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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