bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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