If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In other news, I just burned my penis
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
