No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
