I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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