3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize