i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
smell my finger.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
