i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
