so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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