Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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