I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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