The maid of honor just puked.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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