This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
