You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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