I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
