that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
