And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
