Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
