no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize