It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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