Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
