Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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