can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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